Co-Dependency
When your ‘feel-good’ factor is dependent on other people, it is likely you have issues around co-dependency. Appropriate therapy can help you gain more happy and healthy relationships.
How do I know I have co-dependency?
The following indicators are likely to show whether you are affected by co-dependency. It is useful to use the notation next to the checklist below:
A= Always U=Usually S=Sometimes N=Never
Denial
I have difficulty identifying what I am feeling.
I minimize, alter or deny how I truly feel.
I perceive myself as completely unselfish and dedicated to the well being of others.
Low Self-Esteem
I have difficulty making decisions.
I judge everything I think, say or do harshly, as never 'good enough'.
I am embarrassed to receive recognition and praise or gifts.
I do not ask others to meet my needs or desires.
I value others' approval of my thinking, feelings and behaviour over my own.
I do not perceive myself as a lovable or worthwhile person.
Compliance
I compromise my own values and integrity to avoid rejection or others' anger.
I am very sensitive to how others are feeling and feel the same.
I am extremely loyal, remaining in harmful situations too long.
I value others' opinions and feelings more than my own and am afraid to express differing opinions and feelings of my own.
I put aside my own interests and hobbies in order to do what others want.
I accept sex when I want love.
Control
I believe most other people are incapable of taking care of themselves.
I attempt to convince others of what they 'should' think and how they 'truly' feel.
I become resentful when others will not let me help them.
I freely offer others advice and directions without being asked.
I lavish gifts and favours on those I care about.
I use sex to gain approval and acceptance.
I have to be 'needed' in order to have a relationship with others.
If any of the above items are in the Always or Usually category, then you are likely to have issues around co-dependency.
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